I know, that's such a sappy title for a post, but it's inspired by Cat Stevens. In "The Wind," Cat sings "I let my music take me where my heart wants to go."
Of course, songwriting is not my forte, so I'm not writing what my heart desires. Though I do wish to pursue that endeavor, it's often enough for me to re-create where other songwriters' hearts want to go, and I do this by playing their songs.
Am I getting enough from my current band to do this?
On about seven occasions, I've opened for Ted From Accounting. Apart from a half-hearted attempt at "It's Academic," I've only done cover songs, but I haven't done the same song twice. That's one thing that I brought to the table when I played at Tiffany Tavern on Thursday nights.
Tiffany Tavern is a small place in Old Town Alexandria that has open mikes four nights a week and bluegrass the other three. There were other open mikes in the area but none as fun. Brian hosted on Thursdays and I was very partial to that night, not just because of Brian, but because Margie was done with her week and I had only one day to go, so coming home just before midnight wasn't a big problem.
When I played there, people listened. Most of the people there listened to most of the acts, but I can say without too much pride that I was a favorite act there. I could get that crowd pin-drop quiet at times, and I could get them clapping along too.
When I last opened for TFA, hardly anyone was paying attention. They can say that they were listening, but they were listening the way a teenager listens to the teacher in their last class of the afternoon, if they were allowed to text during class. In short, they weren't really listening. Only at a very passive level.
This gets me frustrated, as I can't seem to grab them when I play. Why not? Because they're not a Tiffany Tavern crowd? Because it's on a weekend, rather than on a Thursday night? Because they've had more to drink? Because they're not there to see me, but Ted instead? Because I'm not as good as I was?
I can't accept that last part. When I played at an open mike in Lisle at a place called Bono's, the two other musicians that were acting as a backup band were quite taken by me.
When I performed "Hallelujah" at Beacon Tap, both Digger and Eileen made a point of telling me how good it was.
Musically, I'm not scratching my itches. Even if TFA was not in a freefall, I'd still be restless. I've always wished to play guitar with them, but not too many songs each night. The very few attempts we had were horrible. It really felt to me as if the other members of the band were going through the motions, or didn't know how to play it, or didn't care, or intentionally were bad to shut me up and get me back behind the drums.
My heart wants to go somewhere else. Not away from TFA, though. I do tend to have fun when playing with them or practicing with them. Just like having a sickly child, you're happy with them anyway and find it hard to imagine a life without them. But I think I want to have another child.
So maybe the next step would be to record some songs and put them on YouTube. Since I'm no longer a teacher, I don't have to worry about it coming around at my workplace and treated with ridicule, undermining my job.
Do I go solo? Work on mastering my looper? Play at some coffeehouses to start? Do I find another musician and get a duet going? I asked Jamie, another former teacher that plays keys and violin and sings, if she'd like to try it out. I'm not holding my breath for her to respond in the affirmative, though.
I wish Margie would sing with enough confidence to do it in front of others, or even with me.
I wish Glenn lived around here. He and I had a two-man act called "Gulp" that worked up a bunch of songs, and though we never landed a paid gig about of it, we loved it. It didn't last long, as he moved to Tennessee. Then we moved to Illinois. Maybe Gulp never got old enough to cause me grief, but it was likely my most rewarding musical project. Glenn's a great guy, maybe the best friend I've had as an adult, and I miss him a lot.
I wish John was a little better and a little more willing to play drums with us. (Or could we have Gumby play a few on drums while I'm up in front? Hm!)
No more Gulp, but I gotta find something else to chew on.
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