Band bitching.

I can't say Ted From Accounting, the band in which I am the drummer and occasional singer, gives me that much joy. It gives me a lot of frustration. So I want to complain about it right now.

First off, I'm stuck as the drummer. A couple of years ago, when we lost our other guitarist (who also played keys), the other two members asked me what I'd rather play. I could either stay on drums while we look for another guitarist, or I could move up to guitar while we look for a new drummer. I pretty much regret the choice I made. But not because I don't like John. He's our current rhythm guitarist and was rough at first but has come along nicely. It's because I'm unhappy always being in the back.

When we set up, all I see is a wall of four mikes for the other four members of the band, equally spaced, right in the front. Shouldn't at least one of those four be a little farther back and near me? For instance, doesn't the bass player usually go back to firm up the rhythm section? No matter where my wife sits, I won't be able to see her during the show without squirming around on my drum throne. Someone's always in the way. It's comical.

Regarding our song selection, I really feel as if my input doesn't matter at all. I've suggested many songs in the past, and it feels as if they intentionally get ignored. (By saying "I feel that," I'm aware that it's likely not personal. But it hurts just the same.) For instance, I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do "Reptile" by the Church. However, the reason we don't do is that that John claims he can't get the guitar part right. (For the record, I can do the guitar part right and showed it to the band the last time we messed with it. But John couldn't play the drum part either.) Digger, on the other hand, suggests a song and boom, we do it. If you take away "Jenny (867-5309)," I haven't had a new lead vocal since Eileen joined our group a year and a half ago.

And my voice is good. I've heard it from several different places that I have the best male vocal in the group. Eileen's is by far the best overall, but she can't sing male leads. However, why should we have the drummer sing, especially when it's so hard to see him? So I don't sing much. I have to find solace by singing harmonies, of which I'm okay and definitely better than the other members of the band. None of them are good harmony singers. It's not a natural thing to do. I've had to work on it to find that purpose.

The band has let Digger be, in essence, our front man. No one else in the front likes to talk between songs. I do, but I'm in the back. During every gig, Digger will get stuck or want some band back-and-forth on the mike and I'll help him. And later on in every gig, Digger will interrupt me in mid-sentence, proving that he's not listening. I get slapped in the face every gig that way. Every time, I tell myself not to help him, just let him hang out there. But I cave.

Margie will often say "I hate this frickin' band," not because we sound lousy or because we take up too much free time, but because it gives me such sadness.

The band lets me open for them, if the venue's owner is good with it. Yes, I'm the opening act to my open band. Since I can't find a decent open mike in the suburbs, it gives me a chance to be in the front, strap on the guitar, and sing. From an attention standpoint, it would be better if I played between sets, but playing drums requires a rest occasionally. I need those set breaks as much as anyone. So I play, and even when I sound good, there' not that many people there to listen. I'm not the band, after all.

So I think about quitting, as I feel like a second-class member of the band despite starting the band, naming the band, and having the band over for practices. But I don't quit, mainly because I don't like the alternative. There's nothing interesting about me without being in this band.

Okay, enough bitching. Let me find some good things.

First off, I did start the band, name the band, and host practices. We haven't had many practices lately because we've been gigging a lot. Though we're not making record high amount of dinero with each gig, it's nice to make any money at all. Digger likes to work on booking us, and though it's always near him and not near me, his footwork is appreciated. He also has posters made, and I've been able to design several of them. (They can be found by looking at earlier posts on the blog.)

It's hard to find bands that have singing drummers, but I'm allowed to do just that in TFA. We do a wide variety of songs and have a small but loyal following. Our catalog of songs isn't growing at the pace I'd like, but it is growing.

Eileen has a great vocal and sings lead of half of the songs. Paulito's a great guitarist. John's coming on strongly and is growing into his role and getting more and more comfortable on stage. Digger is funny and tries to be sensitive to my desires.

I built a drum riser that allows me to be seen a little better by the crowd and feel a little less lost in the back.

Interpersonally, we all get along well. Eileen has discussed what a great fit she is with us. Paul keeps his e-mails so short that it comes off as trite, but he means well. John's opening up with good suggestions. And Dave and I are good enough friends that I ripped him a new one last week regarding his recent performances, and he took it all and thanked me for the feedback.

Okay, I guess it's pretty cool to be in Ted From Accounting. My issues are likely from my lacking social skill, of which I'm been aware my whole life, but for which I can do nothing.