Freeport

Pretty depressed today. No purpose. None. Not working sucks. It sucks worse than working.

I could tell Margie this, and I do, but continuing to tell her can't be helpful. Besides, she's not the reason for my depression. She's often the only bright spot in my life.

Facebook? Nope. No one responds to me. Even in virtual reality, I'm a loser. Seriously, I have very few friends. You'd think that someone with my smarts could figure out how to find companionship. My wife has a similar issue.

We went to a wedding of people we know from Virginia. This was about three years ago. The wife works for CNN and is really one incredible woman. Her husband is a decent guy, but let's say that he married well.

Anyway, at their reception, they made great programs in which everyone at the reception had a biography written about them. The bride and groom called us "the coolest couple they knew." This was at a reception that had John King and Dana Bash, and lots of interesting folks.

I respect their judgment, but if this is true, why can't I make any friends? I can't even blame the lack of a job, as I've made one friend through my last two year-long teaching jobs. I really don't fit in anymore. I never really have.

I'm like that bee in the "No Rain" video, except I never find the field of other bees. But I do have Margie, a kindred spirit. Perhaps I'm like John Lennon in his "God" song, except no one cares to hear my song.

If I were to write a song, and I sincerely wish to do it, one song would be about running away to Freeport. It's a fairly small town west of Rockford, Illinois. It doesn't have a port. But there's something about it, as Margie and I saw when we drove through it one afternoon. Freeport school sports teams are known as the Pretzels. They were a stop for Lincoln and Douglas during their 1960 debates. They have a little league field designed after Wrigley Field, with an amazing amount of work put in.

It's in the middle of America, mirroring a lot of the good and zany things about this country, but nowhere near anything. It's familiar but hidden.

Sometimes I want to hide in Freeport. Instead of hiding in plain sight, which is what I continue to do now.