I'm anxious about where I am, or really, where I'm not.
There's a girl that's an assistant copy editor on a political site I frequent, and for some reason, I clicked on her name. She's barely out of college but already has written for the New York Times and other big-name publications. She graduated summa cum laude at USC (I think) but moved back to New York. She's got over a thousand Twitter followers and seems to be on there all of the time. Her picture is there, and she has this great youthful confidence to her. She's got so much promise and has already done so much with her short career.
I don't want to follow that exact path; journalism isn't my thing anymore. And I'm certainly not in the same age bracket as this girl. But what can I do, in order to have a day as productive as she is likely having today?
Not sure if I've posted this here before, but I'll do it again. I came up with the Velocity Philosophy, and it goes like this: if there's a place you want to go, but someone got the jump on you, all you need to do is go faster than they are and you'll catch up. You don't have to go much faster, but you need to stop standing still and get your engine running. By going as fast as they are, the gap will never widen, and by going a little faster, the gap will start to shrink. If the journey's long enough, you'll catch up and even pass the one that started ahead of you.
Translation: it's not too late. It's never too late. But you need to start pursuing your goal, and you need to go for it with a passion that rivals anyone else, and if you do this, you'll succeed.
What's important about reaching your goal is that you must enjoy the ride, however. You have to enjoy revving your engine, looking out the windows, watching the landscape go past you, even if your goal isn't yet in your headlights. And it's this part that trips me up. I've never been one that can make long-term plans and carry through. Not that I can't ever do such a thing; it's just not that easy for me.
Why am I not able to bench-press my body weight? Because it's not fun for me to lift weights, or at least not convenient enough to bother.
Why did I never win any Teacher of the Year awards? Because I lost my willingness to obtain such a goal by working hard at it on a daily basis. (I did have that drive when I started teaching in 2003, but once I decided it was time to get positive reinforcement and failed to get any, I took my foot off the gas.)
Why can't I solo on guitar? Because there's no way I could work on playing a lick for more than two minutes without giving up or deciding to play something else.
My gratification needs to become less instant. Or I need to find gratification in smaller ways. Maybe the feeling of my muscles burning, the thought of them tearing and preparing to heal and grow bigger and stronger, can be gratifying to me. Perhaps a slight improvement in playing the solo to "Can't Buy Me Love," the only solo I ever really learned halfway-decently, can be a notch in my belt.
My teaching days are over, but I need to want to succeed - if that makes any sense - in the actuarial field, and with that, I can feel good about myself. I won't have thousands of Twitter followers, but that's okay. I'm too shy for that, and I don't want to move to New York.
My bowling has been coming along somewhat. I joined a league on Tuesday nights that needed me, completing a team with four other guys, none of which joined a league at the alley before. Two knew each other before the league started; the rest are strangers, including myself. All of them are better than me.
Last week's debut was a little difficult. After bowling 140-something and 170-something, I finished with a 115. Combined with having no handicap, my score really brought down the team. But all of them were supportive, and they all wanted me to come back. After sleeping on it, I made it so.
Yesterday, I couldn't bowl with them, as Doug was in town for his brother's wedding and I wanted to spend time with him and other high school friends. So I got to pre-bowl, and if I had made my spares, it would've been a killer series. It was 169-177-198 without the spare-making, a 544 series, my best so far. I knocked down nine pins in eight of my frames during the series. You're supposed to make all of your one-pin spares, but out of eight, I only made three.
At least three of the misses were VERY close, so maybe it'll only take slight tweaking, a little better concentration, a little straighter ball or faster ball, a little better foot placement, to make those shots. I would've averaged 194 instead of 181 if I had simply made my easy spares. 15 strikes, 11 open frames, 6 spares. The secret to being a good bowler is to make your spares. This is what I must improve upon.
Having said that, I've still made great strides. I blew away the rest of my friends during a three-game fun-time bowling night. I claim that my average is 160, and I'd be a little above that in my six games of this league. Let's see if I can put up those numbers during league night, while others are watching and I have to sit between frames.
Just to note it: I've been starting a little closer to the foul line, about six inches. A 60-degree angle with my wrist, combined with a lower backswing, allowed me to really get a nice late hook on the ball. I could tell several times that it was a strike as soon as it left my hand. I could feel it on my fingertips.
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