During the last couple of weeks, there have not many e-mails sent from other TFA members. I suppose they may have sent a bunch to each other, excluding me; it's not unheard of. But not much has been said.
However, once again, members have shown little interest in me or anything I've done. John was supposed to practice drums with me a week from Tuesday. He let it slide right by. Paulito asked several questions about the gig, the answers of which I had already posted on our website weeks prior, but he never bothered to check there. Digger finally sent out the set list late last night, allowing the other members a grand total of one day to see what we're playing, and this is over a month after the last time all five of us were together. And Eileen is showing up very late because, hey, her kid will only have one or two more Homecoming dances in the future, so she has to be there for every picture taken. (Once I'm a parent, I'll probably understand why everything involving your kids is more important to anything else. But now, it rubs me the wrong way.)
So I've decided to stop investing so much in this band, as it has been a sour investment for quite a while. I'm only to put it what I can get out in return. It's fun to play with the band, so I'll be there to play. It's fun conversing with the band, so I've cut that down drastically. The only e-mail I've sent to the whole band since Eileen got "pissy" with me via e-mail ( to use a nasty Paulito term) is this morning, when I said that I can't make it by 4pm but can be there by 6:30.
You see, we're playing from 7-11pm for a casino night at a school for the developmentally disabled. I can get behind that, but I can't get behind being asked to have everything set up a full two hours before we start playing. No. I'm supposed to be there by 4:00 for a 7-11 gig? Since this, like every other gig, is nowhere near my house - but they always seem to be within 10 minutes of Digger's house - I'd have to start packing the drums around 3pm to get there by 4pm. Once we're done playing at 11pm and Eileen completely blows off breaking down the stage, which is customary for her - she doesn't help setting it up either; the word "diva" is coming more to mind these days when I think of her - I won't get home until 12:30, maybe 1am. Am I willing to just hand over eight hours of my Saturday, one of a small number of days I get to be with Margie, for this band? No, I'm not. Margie loves me and values the time I spend with her; the band could care less.
And I'll be happy to collect my full share of money. As good a guy as Digger is, he's quite full of himself during gigs, leaving the stage to flirt with others while dropping bunches of notes, and he takes a full share. Eileen leaves the stage when she's singing and talks to others, paying little attention the rest of the show, and doesn't bother with any set-up or break-down, and she takes a full share. John won't practice for songs, fakes it with the volume down to 1 for others, and still doesn't know the words to "Brown-Eyed Girl," and he takes a full share. Paulito likes to drink and will occasionally get really sloppy up there, and he still makes the break of "Like the Way I Do" too short but won't actually listen to it and determine he's wrong, and he takes a full share. I'll have no difficulty taking a full share by giving it my all for the show itself and nothing else.
Anyway, enough of the personal attacks. Despite what I wrote in the previous paragraph, everyone in the band has good qualities, and I've considered all of them as friends before. Paulito earns more than his share for use of his equipment and set-up/break-down work. Digger books most of our gigs. John's a nice guy. And Eileen's the reason a lot of people come to see us.
Once I'm over the sting of TFA being a terrible investment of my time and energy, I'll hopefully be on a friendly level with everyone in the band again. But I have to cut my investment down to the bone. Arrive, set up, play, get paid, break down, leave. This must be my itinerary. No one wants to practice any more, fine. Never learn anything I want to learn, even though "Valerie" is possibly the hottest song in the world right now, fine. Not give me anything new to sing, fine. Not let me play guitar with the band, fine. But ask me to be happy with the situation? Hell no. The situation sucks, but no one cares to rectify it. Everyone else is getting exactly what they want out of this band. I'll arrive, set up, play, get paid, break down and leave. That's what I'll offer now. Nothing else is worth the investment.
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