So there. Also, I wrote a song for the band. It's not the first song I ever wrote, but it's the first song I wrote for Ted From Accounting that I had the guts to show them. When talking to my wife about the bologna we're being handed by the manager at the Beacon Tap, she said "Ted Gets No Respect," and it had nice rhythm in my head. I pictured it having a Bo Diddley beat in E-minor, similar to Thorogood's "Who Do You Love." I put more chords in my song, of course, and the band played it last night in practice. Yeah, 12 verses is too long, but I'm proud of every one of them so it'll be hard to make the song shorter. I guess it's more of a poem than a song. But anyway, here it is. And if you see (TGNR), that simply means "Ted Gets No Respect." Words in parenthese on the right side of each line are meant for other band members to chant as a chorus.
Ted Gets No Respect - Dave Stapleton
V1: Look at everyone out there, (Ted Gets No Respect)
But the manager don’t care. (Ted Gets No Respect)
Though they pack her bar when they play,
She won’t give ‘em the time of day,
And now she’s taken their gig away. (Ted Gets No Respect)
V2: Got shoved in the back of the place; (TGNR)
“Well, the bag-tossers needed space.” (TGNR)
A cover charge was all they’re making,
But not a fin was the door guy taking,
While the boss and bartenders were raking. (Ted Got No Respect)
V3: Two bits were they getting paid, (TGNR)
But they tried to squeeze lemonade. (TGNR)
“There’s ninety fans jammin’ in here,
And their love for our music is clear,
But now they want us to pay for our beer?” (Ted Felt Disrespect)
V4: The patience had worn thin, (TGNR)
Getting hard to find joints to play in. (TGNR)
So they spoke to an owner at hand
Asking why, with so rockin’ a band
Few would make the space for their stands. (Ted Wants Some Respect)
V5: “There’s no doubt our girl can sing (TGNR)
And our lead guitarist is king (TGNR)
The rhythm guy writes catchy tunes
While the bassman pumps up the room
And the drummer’s chick sets up his boom...” (but TGNR)
V6: “You don’t have the look,” they said, (TGNR)
“Too much/little hair on your heads. (TGNR)
Sure, your sound’s a definite rave -
truth be told, it’s my personal fave -
But it’s hooters and pecs that they crave.” (Ted Can’t Get Respect)
V7: The band steered clear of the Tap, (TGNR)
and Tried to see their way through the crap. (TGNR)
Did a message just come from above?
Should they set free that which they love?
Or clench fists if push comes to shove? (Ted Demands Respect)
V8: “If they want symbols of youth, (TGNR)
There’s no way to disguise the truth. (TGNR)
there’s Nothing wrong with coming of age -
It’s a joy when you’re at that stage -
But long ago we all turned the page.” (Ted Once Had Respect)
V9: “Should we ask the fans what they think? (TGNR)
Do they come for more than a drink? (TGNR)
They hit the floor when we play a song,
When we jump, they all jump along.
But are we going at it all wrong?” (Will Ted Find Respect?)
V10: “We could sing about our lives, (TGNR)
‘Bout our husbands and our wives. (TGNR)
‘bout the mortgage being past due,
‘bout the backpain feeling too true.
‘bout the jobs we loved that we lost,
‘bout the money those braces will cost.
‘bout the lawnmowers starting at eight
when we shouldn’t have stayed up so late.
‘bout the stuff we do when we’re bored,
‘bout the payments we can’t afford.
‘bout the struggle to try to get through
when your children won’t listen to you.
Is that what they want us to do?” (Will Ted Feel Respect?)
V11: songWriters struggle with these: (TGNR)
To enlighten or to appease. (TGNR)
The best music’s finding one’s soul,
but The industry’s mining for gold,
and We all end up choking on coal. (Ted Deserves Respect)
V12: Next time, show ‘em you care, (Ted Just Wants Respect)
And let ‘em know if you’re aware (Ted Needs Your Respect)
When they get to tuning their strings
And shout out the message they sing,
‘cause to them, it means everything! (but Ted Gets No Respect.)
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