TFA: maybe there's hope

I have a different feeling about the whole situation today.

For some reason, I felt like I had to clear my staying in the band with Eileen. Huh? Why would I have to do that? She may have the best voice in the band, but she also has the shortest tenure. Plus, it's not like we have to be best of buddies to coexist within the band. Plenty of bands couldn't get along but stayed together, even ones at our level of popularity. Look at Big Daddy and the Slurpies, the teacher band from Fairfax HS. Dave Carr (the bass player) did not like Shayne (the rhythm guitarist and singer) but put up with him. (Then again, once he and I had a blow-out, the band was done. Dangit. Again I'm involved.)

And Eileen and I have gotten along most of the time. This should blow over. She's upset that I posted an anti-gig thing on Facebook and had Dan play on-stage with us; I'm upset that she bitched me out on stage. Maybe we can call it a draw and promise not to go there again. (Although we've had Dan play with us many time before. No one saw her anger coming over that one.)

For me, I know that practically all of this drama stems from a break in the agreement for me to play guitar some of the time. GODDOG needs to return.

So I need to talk to John about it. I need to remind him that we originally agreed to bring him on, but that he and I would switch instruments for some of the songs.

If I could play guitar on second sets, I know my entire feeling about the band would change. I would get to be up in the front, finally. As a guitarist, I would have more say in what songs we play. (A lot of our songs start from a guitarist or Digger playing a lick from the song and the rest of us jamming along.) It's so much easier to sing while standing and playing a guitarist, compared to moving all four of your appendages while sitting on a small backless seat AND singing. Being able to actually see some of the audience would make me feel visible, important, vibrant. I would've LOVED to have danced with Paulito, Digger and Eileen on the dance floor while playing "Walking on Sunshine," but I was tethered to the the drums. John, on the other hand, didn't move. He's not that kind of guy, so being behind the drums for one set wouldn't feel like a cage to him.

And I know that my sourpuss would start going away. With this past gig, I was incensed that our promised outdoor gig was changed to indoors just two days prior. (It happened because the place had just been cited for too-loud-and-late outdoor entertainment.) Playing guitar for a set in ANY venue would be fun. I can't say the same about playing drums. Not for every song, anyway.

I'm willing to help John learn the drums. He keeps decent time, as long as the beat isn't anything strange. He has an idea of what drums and cymbals to hit at what time. He needs work on fills, but I think he can learn it just from repetition, such as listening to the recorded version of the song a lot and playing along with it. I'd be happy to be his drum tutor, once a week, free of charge. If he got his old drum kit into his place, I'd even be willing to make house calls some of the time.

But all I want is to return to the previous agreement. Three years have gone by. I don't need appropriations, just a realignment to what was said to be right. If John agrees to it, I'm staying in this band. If he doesn't, then maybe we can look at Gumby also getting better on drums. Either way, I need to play guitar for some songs, and none of this "okay, Dave, you can play that Britney song while we all take a break." No no. I want to play guitar with the band. I dream of that and have done so for years. This band should be a way for us middle-aged suburbanites to live our dreams. Can't I live it too?