Putting a song together

When I was younger, I was only a drummer. Apart from figuring out a nice beat, I had no songwriting skill, at least from the musical angle.

But in college and in my twenties, I wrote a lot. I think I wrote some pretty good stuff. Sure, most of it was about girls I couldn't have or could no longer have - and I apologize for the use of "have," as if the girls in question were mere objects for me to possess and use - but even today, I still find what I wrote entertaining, and not just because my pain of the times shines through.

Nowadays, as I'm more familiar with music theory and can find my way around a guitar neck, I can come up with some basic song patterns. Last night, I found that putting the capo on the third fret and playing Em - G - D - A in a moderate tempo with a deliberate dampening of the strings sounded pleasant. Coming up with the words to accompany this pattern is a major problem, though.

Do I simply take what I wrote as a younger man and add them to my older musical designs?

The only problem is that I'm still at a loss for a melody line. Most of the time.

I did write one song a few years ago. It was called "It's Academic!" and was written for the TV quiz show of the same name. (It's a Saturday morning east-coast thing.) Our teacher-band, Big Daddy and the Slurpies, performed it on the show, and Mac McGarry, the LONG-time host of the show, told me that he'd like for it to be the closing theme. But it never went anywhere after that, either because we never made a clean copy or because I hoped to make a little money off it. Lot a lot; $100 would've done fine. I just wanted to get paid as a songwriter.

It's a pretty good song, sounding like early Elvis Costello listening to an early John Mellencamp song while thinking about Randy Newman. I made sure that four teachers in the band had chances to sing the lead vocal. And I liked the rhyme-play that I had going. The next year, a student who has at the taping told me that she couldn't get the song out of her head. That's good, right?

There were ground rules set up for me. It had to be about education being essential to a good life after school is done. It had to use basic chords, since our overall musicianship in the band wasn't strong, and have the show's title as the chorus, where it would stick in your head like putty.

My current band would be more than willing to do an original of mine, but "It's Academic" is way too niche for our classic-rock audience. The chord structure is too pop-centric, the message is too wholesome.

What we could dearly use is a sound-check song. One that starts with drums, then bass, then rhythm guitar. One that offers lead vocals to Eileen and Digger and myself, and maybe even John and Paul. One with a nice little guitar solo part.

The only theme I have is "Rock and Roll Depends," based on a band member's small bladder when beer is drunk and how it puts us in a bind when nature keeps calling during a gig. I could certainly play off of that theme and make it more about the energy of the music coming from the fans, rather than the musicians. But put enough double-meaning in there as a wink-wink to the mini-bladder.

In what key would be good for both Eileen and us guys to sing? I'd like to avoid G, as "It's Academic!" is in that key. Maybe A? If I then use "red," "knife" and "meander" but avoid "she," I'll finally get to write that song that Margie wanted me to write.

You see, she gave me those parameters a decade ago but I never wrote the song. I keep wanting to stick "meander" at the end of a line, and good luck rhyming that one in a meaningful way. Gander? Pander? Coriander? Also, how do you use "red" and "knife" without turning the song into a bloodbath?